It was in the fall of my life,

nearing the snows of winter,

when within a dream I awoke

and realized, unbidden,

in the middle of the night

he had come back to me smiling.

I had been feeling cold and tired

and I had curled up in the bed

in a tight little ball

until I got myself warm and safe

in piles of blankets

and let myself drift into slumber.

He was so delighted to finally see me

open up to him again

he hardly knew what to do

with himself or with me.

So infectious was his joy

that I was giggling

without knowing why.

(I will bet he started smiling

from the first moment his mother

licked him clean even

before he first opened his eyes.

I did not know him then

but he must have been

a warm soft ball of fluff.)

So it was I saw him

with his tongue hanging out

looking at me with mirth.

I do not think he expected me

to acknowledge him for when I did,

he gave himself up to the ecstasy

of recognition and greeting

common to animals that have not seen you

in five minutes reacting as if

it had been at least five years

and for us it had been much longer.

The moment my eyes rested on him,

he began to get excited

and took to dancing around me

trying to convince me

that he cared.

He would move close and then

just as I reached out to touch him

he would jump back and run,

just out of range.

He leapt and bounded

and ran in little circles

around me and then down,

butt in the air,

head on front paws grinning at me

before he took off

to repeat the process.

Finally, with one great lunge

he hurled himself at me,

upsetting me and spilling me

into a pile of giggles

onto the carpet.

Reaching back and back

into forgotten memories,

long ago yesterdays

when he was my playmate,

where did we not go together

when our spirits were young?

Did we play hide and seek

among the clouds?

I wonder when it was

that I packed him away

with the toys of childhood

I stored in the attic?

Why did I?

Childhood came and went

with lessons to be learned

and growing up things to do

and I did not have time

to pay attention

to where I stored Yanteh,

my wolf spirit friend.

His light dimmed by years spent ignored

and my light dimmed

by growing up and getting on with it,

I got on with it without

the fullness of his love

that could have made my way warmer.

I do not remember

when I first became aware of him

although surely there must

have been a beginning.

Perhaps that will come to me someday,

like all the rest,

as waking from a misty dream.

How many lifetimes

have we wandered through together?

Flashes of, fragments of,

forgotten moments fill my mind.

I see him bury his muzzle

under my arm in an affectionate gesture.

I see myself throw my arms around him,

sobbing into his soft fur

when whatever world we were in

became too heavy.

I see his yellow eyes

that hold so much compassion and joy,

narrow and glitter and his upper lip

pull back to expose sharp fangs,

growling deep within him

in a quiet but dangerous warning

to any who might threaten me.

He is my protector,

the sentinel who sees to my well being.

He is my guide.

He is my friend.

Yanteh is large, standing taller than I,

if he were to place his front paws

upon my shoulders,

and he is sleek and shiny.

His fur is silver trimmed with white

and he glows with health.

In his yellow glittering eyes

is the bright gleam of intelligence

softened with the liquid warmth

of love freely given.

He is overflowing

with fun and good humor,

giving him a youthfulness

that surely must belie

his spirit age.

Yanteh is quite happy

in his role as protector, He is exuberant in his lot

and wishes for nothing else.

He only knows that he is happy,

in fact, he is filled with joy

that I see him again,

that I allow him passage to come to me.

It is enough.

If only I could describe

the joy of sweet reunion,

the thrill of being once more

side by side,

the quiet peace and happiness,

knowing all is well

and I am on the right path,

which stretches out before me now.

The purest love of all

is that which asks nothing

but to glow nearby

and be allowed to give.

In that purity,

time ceases to exist

and we allow spirit

to take us where it will.

It will take us home.

In laughter shared, tears comforted,

and golden moments packed away

in secret places in my mind,

like photographs,

Yanteh in all his grinning glory

belongs to me.

He is wolf,

he is free,

he is happy,

he is timeless

and he is mine.